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For Men What happens when you marry an infertile woman?

For a second, just close your eyes and imagine a marriage without babies, the enormous joy they bring and the boundless stress that follows.

You are actually not alone if you have a little problem picturing that kind of life. To envision a marriage without kids is simply unheard of, especially in these parts.

Such is the importance of this that few churches are ensuring that couples who are intending to wed go for tests to ascertain their reproductive abilities.

So what happens if somehow after marriage and numerous attempts,you find out that your wife is actually infertile?

10 Nigerian men tell us what they’d do:

1. I actually do not see any big deal in this. Personally, I believe marriage is for companionship so my wife is paramount than kids.

My first priority is to see us happy together, every other thing is secondary to that. I mean, what if we actually have kids and something tragic happens after 20 years, won’t we still be together? – Oritz, 26.

27 and unloved.playThis is how some men would cover their ears to the idea of adoption. They’d rather die childless and happy with their wives than adopt. (Everyday Feminism)

2. Regardless of how the problem came about, I think I’d just plump for an adoption.

I intend to love my wife so much that her past won’t matter. I might be hurt if she knew and said nothing about it, but then I forgive easily so that won’t be much of a problem. –  Abbey, 28.

3. If she knew about it in any way and hid it from me, then that’s the end. I’d personally pack her bags and drive her back to her father’s house. And I’m not even sorry for having this opinion – Ademide, 33.

I hate untruthful guys.playLeaving a woman that already feels somehow for being unable to have kids. How nice? (Surviving Dating)

4. I’m sticking with her, no matter what.

And this is why I’m saying so; I feel it is more difficult to abandon an infertile woman than it is to abandon one that can have kids.

I think it is going to double emotional trauma for her if she can have kids and her husband leaves her on top of that. – Freddy, 26.

  

5. I’m marrying someone else for sure. I’m a muslim and the religion allows me to do so whether or not the first wife can have kids.

Out of respect for her situation though, I’m going to inform her before marrying the second woman. I want kids, please. – Alli, 25.

Why should a man get referred to as the head of the home when we basically put in the same amount of effort?playWhy should a man get referred to as the head of the home when we basically put in the same amount of effort?

 (Shutterstock)

6. I think it all boils down to love. I mean, there are several things that can be done to salvage the situation – surrogacy, adoption, etc.

It might be a difficult pill to swallow if she had abortions before marriage, got her vital organs damaged and refused to say anything about it.

But I still feel love conquers all. I think we could weather it together. – Samuel, 24.

Should I do the 'will of God' and parents against mine?playIf she knew and said nothing, I’m done with her. (Gurl)

7. I’m sorry but I’m letting that woman go.

Especially if she lied about it and tricked me into the marriage.

If she can lie about something that fundamental, there really won’t be a limit to the things she must have lied to me about. – Seun, 25.

8. It’s easy now. I am having kids outside the marriage and telling her nothing about it.

I am going to be supportive but I am not telling her about the children. If she finds out about them, it’s fine. I’m not bothered. – Okosun, 29.

9. Of course, we’ll just adopt. I have absolutely no qualms with this. – Chinaza31.

10. I wouldn’t want to adopt, really. So I’m just going to marry someone else but with her consent.

I’m going to try to convince her to say yes and I think she will see reasons why I should have that kid with another woman.

At least, I hope she does. – Nureni, 28.

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